Getting Out of My Own Way

For years now, as part of working with Lutherans Concerned/North America for full inclusion of glbt Lutherans into all aspects of the life of their Church and congregations I have been thinking a lot about brokenness.

I got used to it really, and to my surprise found that nothing in the momentous decisions made at Churchwide Assembly changed my thinking all that much. My inner world is still inhabited by broken things.

Broken promises, lives, careers, broken church spires, broken hearts. No vote taken can by itself bring a change, just like that. Too much water has already made its way under the bridge.

Going on three years now I have also been thinking about trying my hand at making mosaic pieces out of the shards of broken dishes. "Pique assiette" is the delicious mouthful to describe the practice.

As a technique it has existed for centuries, being employed in part by church artists reassembling stained glass windows shattered during other times of denominational upheaval such as the Reformation or as a result of the Puritanism of the English civil war.

Don't get me wrong, I am thought of and even regard myself as "crafty" in every sense of that word, but I do not consider myself an artist. On the surface, making something with broken dishes seemed a comfortable enough craft. Broken dishes are a homey medium and the idea of restoring functionality by incorporating broken pieces into some new whole appealed as well.

So about three years ago I bought myself a book and starting saving up cracked and chipped pieces around our home. I even began stockpiling inexpensive plates from a thrift store in preparation.I created a space in our back garden area using some shattered plate pieces as mulch as a way to dip my toe in those waters and yet...

When it came to putting mortar and shard together I was completely stalled out. Intimidated beyond any ability to begin. Despite my little pretense at "craft" the pieces I'd seen in books, or in galleries or online all revealed themselves as "art" to my eyes.

So recently, when an acquaintance invited me to join her in attending a spirituality workshop at Seton Cove entitled "Broken but Whole" I took a peek at the website description and knew the clouds had finally parted.

Explore bashing, reassembling, and other spiritual metaphors while creating mosaics from shards, "pique assiette.” Tools and materials will be provided, including old china plates. Make it more personal by recycling your own cracked dishes and trinkets or bring an object to be covered. If your project isn't completed in this session, you'll have guidance on how to finish it at home.

When the evening finally arrived, it was atypically raining cats and dogs, requiring us to run our soaking wet selves into the building where an outdoor setup was being rapidly moved up under cover of a patio roof. We signed in, slapped requisite nametags onto our damp clothing and settled in at plastic shrouded tables to meet our presenter.

Up stepped Ginger Henry Geyer. Artist, pastoral minister in training, wife, mother, sister and ad hoc humorist. With her soft Arkansas accent, she led us through a short history and primer of techniques, and kick started our thinking by displaying a pique assiette piece of her own entitled "Broken Table".

Consisting of a TV tray table covered with shards surrounding two broken kitschy church plates, one of the Last Supper and another bearing that familiar somewhatnamby pamby painted version of Jesus that inhabits many a Christian reared child's fever dreams, her piece features a cup in one upper corner and a halo of intentionally raised sharp pieces surrounding the Last Supper plate's communion scene.

"Broken Table" provokes consideration of how the eucharist has been misused as an instrument of separation rather than communion by so many Churches in so many ways. And sure enough, viewing this reincarnated TV tray table, up welled many of the same emotions I'd experienced since the ELCA's churchwide assembly earlier this month.

Joy, mostly, yes and potentially vividly deep joy, but so much pain as well.

Pain especially for those of our brothers and sisters in Christ who will become so distracted by their despair convinced we have taken a wrong path. Certain in their own minds that by voting to allow congregations to call partnered gay and lesbian pastors and staff, by officially recognizing all families equally, by making room for everyone who finds a love partner to promise themselves to each other in the midst of and with the blessing of their family of faith, certain that by all of that we have not made progress, but rather taken a series of sinful missteps.

Filled with pain they will have their heads bowed and perhaps miss entirely the other larger sight to behold. Without lifting their eyes they might not see every one of us on either side of this conversation, hand and hearts stretched out, all so very willing to work, long and hard, towards the fullness of Church as the expressed Body of Christ in this world. Never catching sight of all of us, every day, saints and sinners gathered together at the foot of the cross in equal need of God's forgiveness and grace.

Hearing holy echoes at every turn, I listened further as Ginger spoke of an Asian practice "Kintsugi" where a perfect vessel is at times intentionally broken and then repaired with resin sprinkled with gold, rendering the most precious part of the container that which is around and holding together all the formerly broken pieces.

Ears ringing I shuffled out with the others to select my shards. At long last I was to ignore if not shed my fears and begin a piece all my own. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out the door and off the cliff of my own making. Falling from inaction to action, gently guided by a final admonition to wear goggles if not glasses when breaking the pieces as "there is danger in any art".

What happened? Here from a grateful email sent to our artist leader along with a photo of the plate I'd taken home to complete..."Ginger: I took you at your word. Words, especially in these days when mainline Protestants struggle with their fundamentalist strains, have become very powerful. So I listened to you and despite being a recovering perfectionist I did not fuss much or fret over color schemes, establishing a pattern or trying for a lot of control. I let the pieces talk to me, tell me that they wanted to be used here, or there, or not at all.

They came together into a crazy quilt that represents my spiritual life here at the hem of the garment of my Church (Lutheran ELCA).

I am..... a perfectionist, broken hearted by the humanity of churches when all along I was seeking CHURCH. I thought early on maybe I was looking for God, but Church surely got in the way. Finally beginning to grasp that only God is perfect so no, maybe not getting too close to God, too threatening, too unintelligible to me except in broken incarnation.

It is all in there, in this humble reassembled plate I think of as "Church Potluck".

Church spires, branches and vines, blood, wine, high holy day purple and gold, the red of Pentecost, the pensive blue of Advent, the green of ordinary times. There are a few flowers on my broken altar, a baptismal shell, signs of water, the colors of desert and rainbow. Bits of grassy meadows where the meek of spirit are pronounced as "blessed". None of it complete, all of it only revealed in part, as a glimpse, as broken and haphazard as any of our lives. Not so gorgeous close up, really easier to appreciate with a bit of distance.

Like me and the church. Seeing the church from afar being the only view I can take for now. Get too close and all I see is brokenness. Jagged edges and rough surfaces.

Why am I here brazenly sharing this image with all the pillowing, the rough spots, the so many imperfections, with you, The ARTIST? The EXPERT?

Because your kind voice, your quick laugh and your gentle stories revealed such depth, some pain all your own, and a growing certainty on my part that you are not only creator but also mentor, supporter and She Who Understands. You created a safe space for all of us Thursday night so we could TRY. I think that is what God does, all the time. God asks us to try, not to succeed, God asks us to gently love each other and to please, please, love ourselves, as we try. So I try to do that....and sharing the imperfections rather than hiding them is confession of a sort. Showing them is how I begin to love them. And myself."

And so my friends, by further sharing this image and story here with you, I complete this, my first short journey of discovery and awareness and ongoing confession of imperfection celebrated through pique assiette.Please know I am fully, excruciatingly aware of the rough nature of this start. I have much yet to learn. I hope to learn by doing however, to learn by living out the practice, no longer waiting, no longer demanding that if I cannot have Perfection I will choose Nothing as the only other option.

As the dust begins to settle

Much excitement over the news from the ELCA Churchwide Assembly yesterday as voting members approved resolutions allowing for glbt clergy in lifelong committed monogamous relationships to be called by congregations who wish to do so and rostered by the church.

There is much confusion and fear as well on the part of those who perhaps do not fully understand how this can be lived out or who have conflated a differing interpretation of scripture as a failure to give primacy or authority to God.

Our Bishop's words summed it up both eloquently and exquisitely yesterday so I share them here with you in case you were not watching the proceedings.

"I would like to speak before I call on any mics.

I want more time to think about words from one you have called to serve as pastor of this church.

I have been standing here thinking about my 23 years as a parish pastor and how differently I would go into a context if I was gathering with a family or a group of people that had just experienced loss or perhaps were wondering if they still belonged, or, in fact, felt deeply that ones to whom they belong had been severed from them.

That would be a very different pastoral conversation.

And I would probably turn to words such as Romans 8, "Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus who died, yes, who was raised, who was at the right hand of God, who intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? I'm convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels nor rulers nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus."

But then I thought, "What if I were going into a family or a group, a community that had always wondered if they belonged and suddenly had now received a clear affirmation that they belonged?"
All of the wondering about the dividing walls, the feelings of separation seemed to have dropped away.

That would be a very different conversation.

I would probably read to them out of Ephesians. "But now in Christ Jesus, you who were once far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He is our peace. In His flesh, He has made both groups into one. He's broken down the dividing wall that is the hostility between us. In Him, the whole structure is joined together and grows into a holy temple in Lord. In whom you also are building spiritually into a dwelling place of God. "

But then I thought, what if those two groups were together, but also in their midst were those who had not experienced loss or the feeling of the dividing wall of separation coming down, but were wondering and worried if all that had occurred might sever the unity and wondered if their actions might have contributed to reconciliation or separation?

If all those people were together in a room, I would read from Colossians, "As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience. Bear with one another. If anyone has a complaint against the other, forgive each other just as the Lord has forgiven you so you must also forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything to in perfect harmony and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. Teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, with gratitude in your hearts. Sing songs, hymns and spiritual songs to God.

And whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. "

That passage gives invitation and expectation that those deeply disappointed today will have in this church the expectation and the freedom to continue to admonish and to teach.

And so, too, those that have experienced reconciliation today, you are called to humility. You are called to clothe yourselves with love.

But we're all called to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts, remembering again and again that we are called in the one body.

I will invite you tomorrow afternoon into important, thoughtful, prayerful conversations about what all of this means for our life together.

But what is absolutely important for me is that that's a conversation we have together.

I ended my oral report with these words: "We meet one another finally, not in our agreements or our disagreements, but at the foot of the cross, where God is faithful, where Christ is present with us, and where, by the power of the Holy Spirit, we are one in Christ."

Let us pray.

Oh, God, gracious and holy, mysterious and merciful, we meet this day at the foot of the cross and there we kneel in gratitude and awe that you have loved us so much that you would give the life of your son so that we might have life in his name.

Send your spirit this night, the spirit of the risen Christ that has been breathed into us.
May it calm us.
May your spirit unite us.
May it continue to gather us.
In Jesus' name, amen."

Bound By Conscience/Freed by Vote

Many obviously emotionally stirred speakers took the microphones. Voices and hands shook, pain was evident in many faces. Scripture was quoted equally by proponents for and opponents of policy change. Some statements were carefully crafted, others came rushing out reflecting strong reaction.

People poised questions. "What about the children?". "What about those who will now feel they have no place?".

Every 20 minutes the process stopped in its tracks for prayer. "Breathe and remember whose you are".

Throughout, Bishop Hanson remained calm, methodical, systematic. He said and did nothing I could discern (watching online) to signal support of any particular position. When a speaker ran out of time the microphone cut off. Just like that. If somebody had a point of order and disagreed with a decision on parliamentary procedure, they were gently corrected and occasionally instructed on how to more properly address their issue.

At one point the Bishop asked the assembled to vote on whether points of information requests from task force members should be considered privileged, that is, allowed to interrupt debate on a memorial or amendment or motion. It was a low vote but those who voted said "no, thanks".

The first resolution that we will, in light of any policy changes adopted pledge to "bear one another's burdens, love the neighbor, and respect the bound consciences of all" seemed the lowest bar to clear. It passed by a vote of 771 to 230.

The second resolution was: That the ELCA commit itself to finding ways to allow congregations that choose to do so to recognize, support, and hold publicly accountable life-long, monogamous, same-gender relationships. In the debate, nothing new was stated that I could discern.

The Bishop instructed with an admonition against applause or vocal response to the vote. Prayer was offered:"Cover us with your Spirit and give us discernment and wisdom to be the church you have called us to be. A church that is not just for us but is a church for everyone."

When it came time for the vote, the numbers spoke thusly: For 619 and Against 402. Silent prayer was again requested by the Chair.

Debate on the third resolution, potentially the most hotly contested policy change went on long enough that the plenary session ran out. The third resolution reads: Resolved:That the ELCA commit itself to finding a way for people in such publicly accountable, lifelong, monogamous, same gender relationships to serve as rostered leaders of this church.

After a break for worship, lunch and much debate the plenary session started back up at 2PM with Bible study. Afterwards they took up other matters, including elections. There is, despite the attention paid to sexuality matters, much other business before the voting members. I was a voting member last go-round and assure you, even without history in the making policy changes to consider, the pace is steady and the days are long.

After waiting through short Q/A with candidates for Vice President and another non-election vote, a process that seemed to me to take an eternity, the assembly voting members as part of Plenary Nine returned to the question of Resolution Three. They began with small group prayer. Discussion on Resolution Three began again, rotating as before between speakers urging support or speaking against support of the policy change proposed. Most seemed to focus on scriptural interpretation - nothing new about that.

At 4:39 the question was called and a vote sustained the end of debate. All were called to prayer. We were reminded that all who are weary and bearing burdens will find rest for their souls in Jesus. The Bishop stated he would call all back into prayer after the voting results were known.

Voting results were as follows: 559 in favor and 451 opposed. History has been made and the ELCA has entered into a new era, now allowing for partnered gay clergy to serve this church as rostered leaders. My hands are sweating, shaky as I type these results - both the end and beginning of so many journeys represented in those numbers.

Let God's people say Amen.

Let The Wild Rumpus Begin!

If this is legit (and I am praying it is), then by goodness and by golly folks, we have ourselves a passed Sexuality Statement:

From Twitter:

ELCA passes sexuality social statement by exactly two thirds as needed.
6 minutes ago from txt

Thanks be to God!

CONFIRMED via the ELCA Website:
ELCA NEWS SERVICE
August 19, 2009
ELCA Assembly Adopts 'Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust'
09-CWA-15-MRC
MINNEAPOLIS (ELCA) -- The 2009 Churchwide Assembly of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) adopted "Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust" Aug. 19 with a vote of 676 (66.67 percent) to 338 (33.33 percent). The passing of the social statement on human sexuality required a two-thirds vote.
The churchwide assembly, the chief legislative authority of the ELCA, is meeting here Aug. 17-23 at the Minneapolis Convention Center. About 2,000 people are participating, including 1,045 ELC voting members. The theme for the biennial assembly is "God's work. Our hands."
Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust is the denomination's 10th social statement. Social statements assist Lutherans in their moral deliberation, govern the ELCA's institutional policies and guide the church's advocacy work. The statement addresses a spectrum of topics relevant to human sexuality from a Lutheran perspective.
More details to follow

Stole[n]

UPDATE: From local LC/ACT volunteer Jan Quirl who is on the scene and helped set up Goodsoil Central - there are over 500 prayer shawls ready to bless and distribute. What a moving testimony to and for the welcoming community!Churchwide Assembly starts today at the headwaters of the ELCA in beautiful green Minneapolis/St. Paul. I cannot be there in body, but my friend David Weiss is there and he sends this reflection as we hopefully, prayerfully, continue on our journey to full inclusion for all of God's children in the full life of this expression of "Church":

Yesterday at 7:33pm
Goodsoil Central: alongside the Chebar river
David R. Weiss, August 16, 2009

I’m sitting in Goodsoil Central (www.goodsoil.org). Outside in the hallway the signs assure me that I’m in Rooms 200C-H at the Minneapolis Convention Center, but I don’t believe them. I’ve read Ezekiel’s “Travel Guide for Exiles” and according to that I’m actually sitting alongside the Chebar river.

First, there are the stoles. Everywhere. Hundreds of them. The room is aflame with their colors. They are the legacy of the countless LGBT persons whose gifts have led them into ministry—and whose calls have been fractured by the fear of their respective churches. Each stole tells a story of gifts denied, of calls stolen (a linguistic irony to be sure!) not just from individuals, but from the whole people of God. This is the palpable anguish of our community, decked out in colors for every liturgical season.But it’s the prayer shawls that really give it away. For months Lutherans across the country, both men and women, old and young, have been weaving, knitting, quilting, and crocheting prayer shawls for this Assembly.Prayerfully working their stitches toward the day when all of us are welcomed home. The shawls, hundreds of them, too, are simply piled high on tables at the front of the room. Many with tags identifying the person or the community whose love made this cloth as prayerful as the person whose shoulders it will soon wrap.

Starting tomorrow, as the Assembly takes up (yet again) the matter of “us”—debating whether the Bible or the tradition can support the wonders that God is already busily doing in our lives (of which the stoles are just a hint)—we will send some portion of ourselves into deep prayer. Carrying all the anguish of our past and all the hopes of our future into the presence of God, we will wrap ourselves in these shawls. Clothed in this love, we will tend to maintaining a contemplative quiet, steadying the words that others of us will speak in Assembly and enlivening the stories that others of us will tell over meals.

We, who are Goodsoil—gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, and ally people of faith—are as yet exiles in our own church. Even as we hold our heads high, even when our hearts are happy and our spirits sound, there is no denying that the policies in place and the attitudes that remain pervasive in too many places mark us as exiles.

But in this room, we are exiles in good company. Besides the wealth of ourselves—and the energy of faith and hope is tremendous here—between the stoles and the shawls we have all the colors of the rainbow in this room.

And in my mind I hear Ezekiel speaking from exile (in chapter 1), “There in Babylonia beside the Chebar River, I heard the Lord speak to me, and I felt God’s power.” In this place where he ought, by all rights, to have felt utterly abandoned, he receives his powerful vision of four living creatures with wings: “The noise their wings made in flight sounded like the roar of rushing water, like the voice of Almighty God.” He describes “wheels within wheels” and “a throne made of sapphire” and “a human-like figure sitting on the throne who seemed to be shining like bronze in the middle of a fire.”

Finally, Ezekiel says of this heavenly figure who meets him in exile, “And roundabout shone a bright light that had in it all the colors of the rainbow. This was the dazzling light, which shows the presence of the Lord.”

Goodsoil. Good company. Here in the land of 10,000 lakes you’ll find us … alongside the Chebar river.


David Weiss is a theologian, writer, poet and hymnist committed to doing “public theology” around issues of sexuality, justice, diversity, and peace. His first book is To the Tune of a Welcoming God: Lyrical reflections on sexuality, spirituality and the wideness of God's welcome (2008). A longtime Goodsoil supporter, he lives with his wife and children in St. Paul, MN.

The Goodsoil Schedule for this day:
Monday, August 17
10:00am - 10:00pm Goodsoil registration [Goodsoil Central]
12:00pm - 12:30pm Blessing of the Shawls [Goodsoil Central]
Goodsoil volunteers gather to bless shawls donated by people across the country. These prayer shawls will be for use in the chapel area and to remind assembly participants to consider every issue prayerfully.
12:30pm - 1:30pm Book Signing [Goodsoil Central]
David Weiss - To the Tune of a Welcoming God
1:00pm - 1:45pm Voting Member meeting and training [Education Room]
2:00pm - 4:00pm Graceful Engagement Training [Education Room]
Goodsoil volunteers learn how to engage with voting members, visitors, and others in order to gently urge them to support full-inclusion.
4:00pm - 5:30pm Churchwide Assembly Opening Worship [Worship Hall]
A service of Holy Communion with ELCA Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson preaching and celebrating communion.
5:30pm - 7:00pm Dinner [Dining Hall]
Goodsoil volunteers gracefully engage with voting members over a meal together.
7:00pm - 9:30pm Plenary Session I [Plenary Hall]
All 1,045 voting members gather to conduct the business of the assembly, which includes consideration of reports, presentation of information and recommendations for action, discussion and debate on proposals, and voting. Goodsoil participants observe plenary sessions and pray during the proceedings.
9:30pm - 10:15pm Voting Members meeting (at conclusion of Plenary Session) [Education Room]
9:30pm - 11:00pm Goodsoil opening reception after Plenary Session I [Goodsoil Central]
Participants can meet and mingle at this first-night reception. Reception will follow the close of Plenary Session I, and includes a cash bar. Voting Members should attend the Voting Member meeting before attending the reception.

This last bit of wrangling over ordination of openly glbt clergy including the idea of offering rites of marriage in areas where that is legally permissible has gotten to feel to me more and more like a family fight. What I mean by that is many are no longer arguing so much in a factual or logical way, it is boiling down to "so and so agrees with me" or "I'm tired of talking about this - whatever you want is OK by me" sorts of positions.That is why I guess, when I read the following article I kept hearing Richard Dawson in the back of my head, semi-shouting, "And our Survey Said!!".... The numbers are in - we will see how the voting goes in August at Churchwide.

SURVEY SHOWS LUTHERAN CLERGY SUPPORT ORDINATION OF GAY AND LESBIAN CLERGY:SURVEY ALSO SHOWS ELCA CLERGY SUPPORT PERFORMING SAME-SEX MARRIAGES WHERE LEGAL

A majority of clergy who belong to the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) support ordination of gay and lesbian clergy, and a plurality (46%) support performing same-sex marriages in states where they are legal, according to a recent national survey by Public Religion Research. The Clergy Voices Survey is the most in-depth study ever conducted of Mainline Protestant clergy and contained nearly 60 questions related to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) issues in the church and society.

"ELCA clergy are generally supportive of a range of rights for gay and lesbian people both inside and outside the church. Nationwide, a majority of ELCA clergy support ordaining gay and lesbian clergy, and only a minority of ELCA clergy opposes performing same-sex marriages in the states where they are legal," said Dr. Robert P. Jones, President of Public Religion Research, who conducted the study. "ELCA clergy also strongly believe that the gospel message requires full inclusion of gay and lesbian members in the life of the church, and support for ordination and participation in marriage ceremonies of gay and lesbian parishioners are concrete expressions of that theological conviction."

Seven-in-ten ELCA clergy say that the gospel message requires full inclusion of LGBT people in the church, and a majority of ELCA clergy supports ordination of gay and lesbian clergy. A solid majority (54%) of ELCA clergy says that gay and lesbian people should be eligible for ordination with no special requirements. About one-third (32%) says that gay and lesbian people should be eligible for ordination only if they are celibate, and only 14% say gay and lesbian people should not be eligible at all.

A plurality of ELCA clergy support performing civil marriages where legal. By a significant margin, ELCA clergy disagree with the statement, "Even if it were legal, I would not be willing to perform a civil union or marriage for a same-sex couple" (46% disagree vs. 37% agree). As a matter of public policy, the overwhelming majority of ELCA clergy support either same-sex marriage (37%) or civil unions (44%), and only 1-in-5 (19%) says there should be no legal recognition for same-sex relationships. ELCA clergy are also strongly supportive of other rights for LGBT families and individuals, such as adoption rights, hate crimes laws, and workplace discrimination protections.

A majority (53%) of ELCA clergy report that their views on LGBT issues are more liberal today than they were a decade ago. One-third (33%) says their views have not changed, and only 14% say they have become more conservative.

The Clergy Voices Survey was conducted by mail among a national random sample of senior clergy serving congregations in the seven largest Mainline Protestant denominations. The survey contained over 250 separate questions and generated 2,658 respondents with a response rate of 44%.

The Clergy Voices Survey was funded by the Evelyn and Walter Haas, Jr. Fund. Full results of the study can be found at http://www.publicreligion.org/research/?id=208.

August 5, 2009
Contact: Robert P. Jones, Ph.D.
rjones@publicreligion.org
202-435-0277
1101 Vermont Ave NW, 9th Floor,
Washington, DC 20005
www.publicreligion.org

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